7 is good enough for a lifetime of psychological allegory

(A) growth fable: the growth of apple trees will never do an apple tree, and finally the results.
the first year, which end up with 10 apples, nine were taken away, they receive one. This tree was angry, then cut off, in turn, refused to grow. The second year, it end up with five apples, four were removed, they receive a. "Haha, I got 10% last year, this year, 20%! Doubled." Apple tree, psychological balance.
However, it can do: continue to grow. For example, the second year, which end up with 100 fruit were taken away 90, that she was 10.
is possible, it is taken away 99, that she was one. But it does not matter, it can continue to grow in the third year-end 1000 fruit ... ...
fact, how much fruit is not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! So apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be weak to negligible power. Really, do not worry so much about fruit, growth is the most important.
psychological Comments】 【you are not a meridian of the workers have been cutting their family?
just started work, you talented, vigorous, believing that "man is man." But the reality soon hit you a few Sap, perhaps, you make a big contribution for the unit that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only benefit by oral attention; perhaps ... ... In short, you feel like the apple tree , bear the fruit of their own to enjoy only a very small part, and falls far short of your expectations.
So you angry, you are upset, you grumble ... ... In the end, you decide not to work so hard, to do to match their own income. Over the past few years, you a self-examination and found that you now have not just work up the passion and talent.
"old and mature." We are accustomed to such self-deprecating. But the essence is that you have stopped growing.
this story everywhere around us.
reason for such mistakes, because we forget that life is a process in which a whole, we feel that they have grown too, and now is the time for the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, forget the growth is the most important.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of cutting their meridians. We are ready to give up doing so, the road continues to grow.
Remember: If you are a working family, and met with management knowledge management or error management brutal boss or corporate culture, then, to remind themselves about, please do not because of anger and full of resentment and cutting off the meridians. No matter what, always have to do an apple tree growth, because growth is always better than a month you how much money important.
(b) the motivation of fable: the children for whom playing
kids frolic in front of an old, calls groaning. Over the past few days, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each child, said to them: "You have to become very busy here, I feel a lot younger, this amount of money thanks."
children are happy day is still coming, as always, playfulness. Old people come out and give each child 15 cents. He explained that he had no income, only a smaller number. 15 cents also can be, boy is still excited to go.
the third day, the elderly only 5 cents for each child.
children with rage, "only 5 cents a day, we know how hard!" They swore to the elderly, who never played for him!
【Comment】 psychological Whom you "play"
this fable is the parable of the apple tree deeper answer: Why do apple trees from off the channel, because it is not for himself but to "play."
were two types of motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. According to the internal motivation to action, we are the masters of their own. If we are driven by external motivation, we will be influenced by external factors, to become its slaves.
in this fable, the old calculation is simple, he will the children's internal motivation "for their own pleasure and play" into the external motivation "to get cents and play\factors, so it manipulated the children's behavior. Fables of the elderly, like not like your boss, boss? And cents, like not like your wages, bonuses and other kinds of external rewards?
if the external evaluation as a reference frame, our emotions fluctuate easily. Because of external factors beyond our control, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, so we are not satisfied, let us grumble. Dissatisfaction and complaints and other negative emotions make us suffer, in order to reduce the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to reduce the work effort.
A person will form an external evaluation system, the main reason is that parents like to control him. Parents too prefer to use verbal rewards and punishments, incentives and other controlled substances in children, not to bother the child his own actions. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. School, he forgot the original motivation to learn the joy of curiosity and learning; work, he has forgotten the original motivation of the work of the joy of growth, with the comments and income fluctuations into his work the largest source of pleasure and pain.
remember: external evaluation of the system often is a family history, but you can break it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into a "play for themselves."
(c) Planning of Fable:
a piece of paper folded 51 times to imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, how high it is?
a refrigerator? Floor? Or a skyscraper? No,'s minds, and the thickness over the distance between Earth and the Sun.
【Comments】
psychological now, I get asked a dozen of this fable, and only two people said that this may be less than the height of an imaginary, while others think that is a maximum height of Building skyscraper.
folded height of 51 such terror, but if only the 51 white stacked together?
the contrast was shocking to many people. Because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simply stacked together. Take this today, tomorrow and make it that every time there is no link between efforts. Thus, even if each work is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a simple superposition.
, of course, life is more complicated than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, their lives end up someone else unattainable level. For example, a friend of mine's life direction is in English, he spent more than a decade to only the amount of memory words reached many hundreds of thousands, at this point to reach the average person can not match the height.
also some people, the direction of their lives is very clear, Piru Kai Gong Si boss, Zhe Yang, they need considerable skill professional skills, management skills, Goutong skills, 决策 skills and so on. They may try to do some of this in the beginning, they try to do some, um, not as a special master's, but in the end, to open the company boss in this direction will be scattered before they appear together the efforts of integration, which is a kind of complex life, folding, rather than a simple superposition.
Remember: the power of sight more useful than the invisible forces.
now popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as school success, that our lives depend on a number of miracles to be saved. However, in my view, Dongguan Heng Yuan Counseling Center counselor Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, "by planning to make good use of existing capacity than tap the potential of the so-called more important."
(D) to avoid the fables :
cat escape the shadow of the shadow of the tricks really annoying! "Cat Tom and Toby thinks this way," we must get rid of it. "
However, wherever you go, Tom and Toby found wherever there is sunlight, they will see that they are crazy in their own shadow.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Toby approach is always to stay in the shadows of other things.
【Comments】
psychological explanation of this parable, a little psychological problems How to become a greater psychological problems.
can say that all mental problems are related to the distortion of the facts. What facts? mainly those who make us bitter and negative events.
because of the painful experience We do not want to face the negative events. However, once occurred, negative events such as doomed to be with us for life, we can do them up but is suppressed to the unconscious and going, this is the so-called forget.
However, they still will, as always, the subconscious function. And, even if we forget them even more powerful truth, the pain associated with these facts will still attack us so that we somehow sad, and can not be inhibited . This pain Let us further effort to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution is to these two: either, as we like Tom kitten, completely distorting their experience of life in all the important negative the fact that the blind; or, we, like kittens, like Toby, simply join their suffering to all of their things were very bad, since all are so bad, so they are most sad that the original event is not ache so much. < br> Baiyun mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of drug users had a painful experience. they are the reason drugs, is to make their escape the pain. It is like hide in the shadows, the painful fact is that a the devil, in order to avoid this evil, we simply sell itself to a greater devil.
many alcoholic adults, they had an alcoholic and abusive dad, and put the father of a lot of torture. To forget pain, they learn the same way.
In addition to these visible things the wrong way, we humans also invented numerous types of all kinds of ways to escape suffering, Freud referred to these methods of psychological defense mechanisms. too pain, these defense mechanisms are necessary, but worse, if the psychological defense mechanisms to distort the fact too hard, it will bring more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, or even the spirit of schizophrenia and so on.
really only one way to reach a healthy face the pain. face the pain of the people will get from the pain of many surprises, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth.
remember: shadow and light, as is the wealth of life.
one of the most important psychological law that, no matter how painful, you are the order of the day. you can only go to brave face it, solve it, beyond it Finally, and it reached a settlement. If you own a temporary lack of power, you can find help, find friends and relatives to help, or seek professional help, people you trust to accompany you to go with the face of these painful things.
Rogers, American psychologist, who is the most lonely person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true master of human relations; U.S. psychologist Frank has a brutal and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother But when he challenges the fact and finally from the heart to forgive her parents, he became an expert treatment of this issue; Japanese psychologist Morita Shoma was a severe neurological disorder, but he challenges the fact and finally through the invention of the the Morita therapy ... ... their lives the most painful facts eventually become their most important asset. you can do the same.
(5) action Fable:
crab, crab owls and bats , owls and bats to go to cram school abuse. a few years later, they all graduate and received his PhD. However, the crab is still rampant, night owls are still sleeping in the daytime activities, bat still hung upside down.
【Comments】
psychological It is even famous master of a fable, its moral is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
called profound knowledge of psychology. However, more re- good knowledge of psychology help a person can not automatically become more healthy. In fact, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, one purpose of their psychology is to rule themselves, but learned after so many years, their problems remain.
reasons for this situation, a very important reason is that they do not personally, but far less knowledge on the knowledge, expertise, and not into their own life experience.
one of my like the psychology of a friend, who was more than psychology, that is not sensitive, not for psychology. But the fact that such speculation is not correct. He is not sensitive enough, but he has a very big advantage: that of a Good Knowledge, immediately in their own lives to do it. In this way, the knowledge of those distant became real life experience, he does not "know" too much, we can help ourselves and help many people.
If we say that the quality of high sensitivity is a genius, go-anywhere is more important then the talent quality.
this fable can come out of another meaning: Do not expect too mysterious magic of psychotherapy. the most important force always by your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, occult potential development, learning, etc. dazzling success, all you who have far less power important. we used to go outside to find the answers to other people where to find strength Results forget the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not automatically save you.
if the punch line of some Lianzhu impressed you, if some text or a new creed inspired you. Well, these others text and experience are just a start, more importantly, do you think you really use a good knowledge of your own life to go.
Jewish philosopher Martin? Buber's words, I have always considered the most important:
to you to start. If you do not love to go in depth with a positive life, if you do not go its own way reveals the meaning of life for themselves, then for you, life would still be no significance.
(6) to give up the fable:
bees and flowers wilted roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it previously had from the flower in the suck sweet takes. But now in this little flower, bees suck the venom.
bees know this because venom bitter taste is a big difference with the former. So angry bees, but it breath of his head came up to complain about the whole world, why change the taste a?!
one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, fly a little higher. At this time, it found, withered roses around, everywhere is the flowers.
psychological Comments】 【
This is a fable about love, is a young language teacher of the true sentiment.
some time, she wanted to take a very painful, always wanted to talk about I hope I can give her some psychological knowledge help. We have some time, but soon two months later, two of the time can not happen to get together.
the last time about her, she said: "Thank you! No, I would like to see. "
Original, she had just come back Jiuzhaigou. Lovelorn pain is still bothering her, let her look trance, unable to enjoy the beauty of Jiuzhaigou. Casual, she noticed a small flower on the honey bee is one. which flash, thunder and lightning through her mind a camel appeared saying: "withered flowers, the bees can suck the venom. "
, Of course, nature does not do the little bees, just humans who are so foolish, she was the bees in this saying, of course, refers to her. This moment, her insight to give up the truth out. Before, she would like to Let me help her out, but in fact the long wings on her own, and she want to fly can fly.
give up is not easy to give up love in particular, painful. because love is the young of our times copy of parent-child relationship. young children, no matter from which side, can not do without my parents. If the parents completely deny him, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate harm and fear. We more or less have been father and mother experienced no pain and fear, so when a copy of parent-child relationship of love that once again we experience the pain and fear, we can easily become very emotional bad.
However, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference: a child, we can not, all parents have the final say; But now, we grow up, we have the power to choose their own destiny . can be said that childhood, we are a small bee without wings, but now, we have a pair of powerful wings.
However, when deeply in love, we will return to childhood, we will forget a pair of wings to fly. and so we ourselves realize that, the love is no longer the automatic copy parent-child relationship, our love will be free, there is a giving up of power.
Remember: Love is Two people things, two completely equal, independent personality's business. You can work, but not that, for your efforts Liao bound to have an effect, as another person, you can not determine.
Suoyi , no matter how much you care about a love that if another person determined to leave you, please respect his choice.
And also remember, you are no longer childhood, can only let the pain of torture. you have adults, you a pair of strong wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison.

(7) intimate allegory: a unique rose
Little Prince has a small planet, planet all of a sudden bloom of a rose blooming. before on this planet only a few nameless flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers, he fell in love with the rose, her carefully nurtured.
that a days, he thought, this is a unique flower on earth, only he only planet, other places do not exist.
, however, so he came to Earth and found that there is only a garden 5000 this same flower. At this time, he knows that he only have an ordinary flower.
the beginning, this discovery, let the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although the world there are many roses, but his planet tis is still unique, because that rose, he had watered, had spent her hood cover, protected with a screen too, in addition to her body of caterpillars, but also listen to her complain a little, and boasted over to listen to her silence ... ... In short, he tame her, and she tamed him, and she is his unique rose.
"is because you spent for your rose time, That makes your rose so important. "1 was the little prince tamed the fox said to him.
【Comments】
this psychological masterpiece France" Little Prince "in a famous fable, I read a dozen times, but still up 2005 to understand this.
face of 5000 rose, little prince said: "You beautiful, but you are empty, no one can die for you. "
Only devoted love and intimacy makes sense. But now we empty the increasingly popular" intimate relationship "is the most typical one night stand because of the proliferation network.
We are anxious to have . as if each owned more than a rose, the value of their own lives on the Duoleyifen. Internet age, with several 10 lover is no longer a very rare thing. but I know who these emotions No one is empty. they do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
"The more people who desire to conquer, the more the relationship is not interested in intimacy. "Guangzhou Baiyun mental hospital consultant Rong Wei Ling said," do not own the former, they will do anything to narrow the distance relationship. But once owned, they will quickly lose interest in this intimate relationship. Stronger desire to conquer, the faster the loss. "
For such people, a rose garden, rose compared to a unique, more attractive.
However, the relationship between the United States, almost two inputs is the extent and degree to be tamed. When the two individuals are naturally go into, naturally tamed, the relationship becomes nourishment of life, so that a person's life becomes more filling and better.
However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still the little prince, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. If the roses let the little prince travel, or the little prince will travel non-roses with me, they have to stick together, relations will no longer enjoy, but will become a burden.
Remember: a both intimate and mutually independent relationship, better than 1000 relations in general. This relationship will bring us from hopeless rescue of loneliness is our life The most important kind of salvation.
If you have not experienced, you can not know the relationship of the United States.